Only if I knew then what I know now.
Thinking I had something that belonged to me
When in reality, I don't even belong to me.
Spending all of these years abusing me.
Constantly poking holes in me so that I vainly flaunt my jewelry.
Cutting my flesh for the latest tattoo fashion.
Passing myself around to just about every man I crossed paths with.
And for what? A feeling that was so fleeting, short lived, and barely satisfying.
Why God! Why did you wait so long to find me?
Or was I just so lost that I couldn't see you, even when you were right in front of me.
Though through my struggles you were always reaching out to me.
Eventually I had to learn from all of those situations I voluntarily walked into.
That no matter how hard I tried to fill that empty void it would only be you who could fill it.
Please forgive me Lord for looking past you.
Please forgive me Lord for being more pleased with the enemy and the sin in me.
I ask God that you direct my paths and continue to make the crooked straight.
For it is now your face that I seek only.
For the holy spirit is a part of me
And I do not belong to me but to you.
Clean me out through and through.
That when others see my face it’s not really me, only you!
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