I've spent some time pondering on this topic and realizing how my life is changing. There was once a time when I complained constantly about not having enough time to do anything but work, sleep, and repeat. However, this has changed as I recently let go of my job with the idea and prayer of doing so, I relinquished the leadership role I've been in for the past 4 plus years and let my husband step into it as it is rightfully his anyway. At first I was afraid and indifferent when he came to me saying "babe you don't have to do this anymore!" I was both elated and confused and of course asked exactly what he meant by saying that. He stated that he could finally hold us down financially and I could let go of my job altogether. I took the weekend to think about it and also I needed time to pray. What was brought to mind was a conversation I had with my mom which went like, "I want to be obedient to the Lord and my husband the moment he says I can let go of my job. I don't want to be resistant, I want to say okay and trust him."
It was our intention for him to find a much better paying job so that I could step away from the working world and pursue other things such as homeschooling and be a stay at home mom and it was now time to do just that. I first tried to switch to part-time but this was denied by the company and I did not try to fight it. Instead I turned in my 2-weeks notice and I let Jesus take the wheel literally! It has been almost a month since I left my job and as crazy as it sounds, I feel lost. I'm not completely sure what I should be doing right now but this mental battle is real! I was so used to being in control and now I'm not which is a bit difficult to cope with. I thought I would be up and running on my new pursuits and wasting no time to get started, yet I sit here struggling to even begin.
I find myself periodically searching for remote work and realizing that if I were to start said job, I'd be back at square one. Yes I'd have employment and income but the things I really need to do right now would once again take a back seat because there'd be no time for them. So right now I have to learn how to let go of what was in order to walk into what is to come. My mindset needs to change for me to accomplish this. I must walk away from what is familiar and do the thing that is actually unfamiliar and foreign to me in order to succeed at this, otherwise I wont grow in the way I am supposed to. The point of all of this is to let go of self and completely trust The Most High Yahuah for everything, and I know that most are not willing to do this, but I am ready to learn. I've been praying for change for so long and I finally have the blessing, however, I was unaware of what the blessing would look like once I got it. I just pray for the wisdom to know what to do with it because I don't want to waste or abuse it.
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