So beautiful yet so peaceful

I've spent some time pondering on this topic and realizing how my life is changing. There was once a time when I complained constantly about not having enough time to do anything but work, sleep, and repeat. However, this has changed as I recently let go of my job with the idea and prayer of doing so, I relinquished the leadership role I've been in for the past 4 plus years and let my husband step into it as it is rightfully his anyway. At first I was afraid and indifferent when he came to me saying "babe you don't have to do this anymore!" I was both elated and confused and of course asked exactly what he meant by saying that. He stated that he could finally hold us down financially and I could let go of my job altogether. I took the weekend to think about it and also I needed time to pray. What was brought to mind was a conversation I had with my mom which went like, "I want to be obedient to the Lord and my husband the moment he says I can let go of my job. I don't want to be resistant, I want to say okay and trust him."

Only if I knew then what I know now.Thinking I had something that belonged to meWhen in reality, I don't even belong to me.Spending all of these years abusing me.Constantly poking holes in me so that I vainly flaunt my jewelry.Cutting my flesh for the latest tattoo fashion.Passing myself around to just about every man I crossed paths with.And for what? A feeling that was so fleeting, short lived, and barely satisfying.Why God! Why did you wait so long to find me?

I would tell her to wait and be patient. Stop looking for love in all the wrong places. Find your passion, continue your education, books before boys in that order and when you succeed it’s time for a celebration. No man can give you the love of your father. Because he is just a little boy himself. He does not know how to properly love you. Sex is NOT love, save yourself for your husband. Wait until your married to have children. And learn what it really means to love yourself. You cannot be nice to everyone because they will abuse your kindness. The Bible says “do not awaken love before it is time” so please don’t put yourself in a position that makes you think your either in love with someone because those feelings can be false and trick you into experiencing heartbreak.

A question that has been pondered by many.A name, just a simple name, but only not so simple after all.A name is a word that can invoke power and responsibility.Hope and fear, love and sadness.A name can be a curse or a blessing to the one who holds it.A name is a permanent possession and it can be used to make or break an individual.A name, there is power in a name.The power to heal but also the power to kill.A name, like my name Can hold so much trauma.That trauma can get passed down to the one who now owns that name.Abuse, shame, hurt, jealousy, pettiness and pain have come with this name.And for a long time I just didn’t get it.Why does it seem like I am repeating her life?

The spirit of rejection is one we are all familiar with in one way or another. The guy you've had a crush one since the first grade and after 10 years you've finally gotten up the courage to tell him how you feel just for him to shut you down. Or the beautiful girl with the big natural curly hair who you have been going out of your way for since what feels like forever. She calls you every night but constantly complains about the way this guy treats her and you only wish she could see you the way you see her. When you finally express your feelings, she friend zones you and gives it no other thought afterwards.

Through out the course of life we are often told to follow our heart. Whether it be through song, ourfavorite Disney movie, or a trusted friend or family member, following one's heart is always the answerto our problems. But what if I told you that it's not. In fact depending on what your heart is telling you, the decision we choose to make can be more detrimental instead of beneficial.

Every episode of Pokemon we are introduced to the troublesome trio, their wacky batch of pokemon, and a new invention they've created in the hopes of it helping to finally capture pikachu once and for all. But it never goes as planned, and Ash and the gang send team rocket blasting off at the speed of light.

Too many people are getting married for the wrong reasons just to find themselves signing divorce papers down the line. But just because the papers have been signed and filed, it does not mean that the marriage is actually over. Matthew 19:6 says: They are no longer two but one flesh, so no man should separate what God has join together.

For a good part of my life I thought Jesus was a Demi god when he walked the earth in human form. But the book of Hebrews tell us that he was indeed a complete human being. No special powers like Superman, but just a simple human being that the Holy Spirit dwelled in. His sacrifice would not have been the same if he was a Demi god. How else could he fully understand all of the flaws and emotions of us human beings if he were not one as well. That’s why the Bible says he was tempted. He felt fear, sadness, joy, and all the other complex emotions we feel on a daily basis.

Lately I've been having thoughts about something referred to as "The Ring Of Fire "when a woman gives birth. Scientifically speaking, this is caused by the babies head stretching the vaginal opening as the child's head becomes visible in the birth canal, also known as crowning. This stretching can create a burningor stinging sensation that is very noticeable but does not last long. Now my curiosity could have stopped there, but I truly believe there is a deeper meaning to all of this spiritually.